Funniest lines

[Gazereths]

Just a quick one to ask which is your favourite/Funniest line of all time?


Mine would have to be : "The president is gagging on my gas bladder....what an honour!"----Dr Z

[frys_red_jacket]

i think its funny when bender says "bite my shiny metal ass" :lol:

[Gazereths]

What about "bite my glorious golden ass"?

[Cloverfield]

See my sig for one of my faves.

[Gazereths]

Yeah that one is good...but there's so many good 'uns, it gets kinda hard to choose.

" hey zoidberg get in here!"--Fry


"SCREW YOU!" Dr Z from outside the room.

That one liner cracks me up everytime :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Sweetened Angel]

alot of funny line. it hard for me choose.

[jonnycat]

Tough call. One that sticks out is when Leela punches Zapp, and Zapp responds "Lets try that again, but lower and alot softer".

[Pazuzu]

See my signature for my faves!!! Oh and of course the various occasions in Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles where the Proffesor shouts "Pazuuuuuuuuuuuuuzuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" lol

[Gazereths]

I suppose you want to see my old crotchety discount card?




Might not have got that one right but it's something like that!!! :lol: :lol:

[Ace]

Golden Benders bite my glorious golden ass!

[Gazereths]

Eveyones always in favour of saving hitlers brain...but when you put it the body of a great white shark ...ooooooooooh suddenly you've gone too far!!

-Prof F.

The dance that fry does in "jurrassic bark" cracks me up too!

Anyone know the song that he plays then?

[TinnyTim]

The dance that fry does in "jurrassic bark" cracks me up too!

Anyone know the song that he plays then?

It's "The Hustle" by Van McCoy circa 1975.

[Gazereths]

Sweet...gonn download it now!!!

[TinnyTim]

Leela: "I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can."
Professor: "You're going to do his laundry?"

[ironik]

farnsworth-you must take him to his ancient home world, which will soon erupt in an orgy of invertebrate sex
fry-ohh baby im there
lela-fry, dont you you even understand the word invertebrate?
fry-nope thats not the word im interested in.

[Gazereths]

Thats a classic line!!!!!

What about... " those haven't decended in years" --- Hermes


If you dont understand this they probably haven't decended yet!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

[ironik]

Bender: I was God once.
God: Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died
or Chief Giant Brain: What do you want?
Fry: I'm here to kick your ass!
Chief Giant Brain: Wishful thinking. We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses.

[Gazereths]

ha ha ha !!!! :lol: :lol: 'now i am leafing earth for no raisen!!'

[timeisanenemy]

there are too many good ones to have a favorite, but i like it when cubert says "your explanations are pure weapons grade bolognium"

[timeisanenemy]

or this one:
Leela: This all must have something to do with the secret ingredient.

Fry: My God. What if the secret ingredient ... is people?

Leela: No. There's already a soda like that: Soylent Cola.

Fry: Oh. How is it?

Leela: It varies from person to person.

[Pazuzu]

Oh, oh, oh... the monologue by Zoidberg at the end of Love and Rocket...
As the candy hearts poured into the fiery quasar, a wondrous thing happened, why not. They vaporised into a mystical love radiation that spread across the universe, destroying many, many planets, including two gangster planets and a cowboy world. But one planet was at exactly the right distance to see the romantic rays, but not be destroyed by them: Earth. So all over the world, couples stood together in joy. And me, Zoidberg! And no one could have been happier unless it would have also been Valentine's Day. What? It was? Hooray!

lol

[timeisanenemy]

Nd-Nd: Little one, get out of there. I'm going to count to blorx!
Jrrr: But, elder one--
[Nd-Nd starts counting off her fingers.]
Nd-Nd: Flingle ... glorg ... glorg and a gloob.

[Gazereths]

The dance that fry does in "jurrassic bark" cracks me up too!

Anyone know the song that he plays then?

It's "The Hustle" by Van McCoy circa 1975.



Got it now...funny...but its 'kc and the sunshine band' thats the one i got!

[Pazuzu]

Monique: [on TV] Calculon? But I thought you were--
Calculon: [on TV] Egyptian?

Leela: Do you two have to imitate everything you see on TV?
Cubert: Um, we're 12. So, yes.

Bender: Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
(All from Bender should not be allowed on TV)

[beano2]

i think its funny when bender says "bite my shiny metal ass" :lol:

thats my favroute 2 :lol:

[Cloverfield]

I have that saying and Bender on a massive poster on my bedroom wall :lol:

[Sweetened Angel]

:lol:

[Cloverfield]

It's great.

[timeisanenemy]

heheh.. i was sitting in the airport waiting for my sis the other day, and that quote just popped into my head every few minutes (lots of misbehaved children at the airport)

[Gazereths]

is it shiny and metal tho? LOL

[beano2]

I have that saying and Bender on a massive poster on my bedroom wall :lol:
do u laugh ur self to sleep

[0]

wat i love is they entire robot devil song

[Gazereths]

"mmmm...deep fried robot" "my ass has blisters from the slide"

[wwwwNAMEwwww]

my favorite is one of the lines in the opening that was something like

Futurama: available in double vision where drunk

[Gazereths]

Yeah that was a great opening "futurama:beats a hard kick in the face" i think that was one..or am i making things up again!!!

[smellydog]

There are so many great lines to choose from so I don't really know where to start!!!

The line that gets me every time is "Bite my shiny metal arse" this is just Bender in a nutshell!!!

[Cloverfield]

Yeah, that is probably the most classic line of the show.

[Gazereths]

And the most often repeated.

[ironik]

heres another good one LOL



Farnsworth: Oh, that poor, sweet monkey. Well, let's go gather him up. There's no sense letting him go to waste.

[Gazereths]

*licks lips*

[wwwwNAMEwwww]

this is my favorite segment:

Hermes: (shouting) I'm going to jump!

[The staff look up from street level.]

Amy: (shouting) No!

Zoidberg: (shouting) No!

Bender: (shouting) Do a flip!

Leela: (shouting) Don't do it, Hermes! You have so much to live for.

Bender: (whispering; to Leela) I get it, reverse psychology.

Farnsworth: (shouting) Please, old friend, don't jump. Use another method that won't damage your liver. Other people need it, you know.

[ironik]

Bender: Lick my frozen, metal ass

[Gazereths]

Hermes: " when i get out of here that zoidbergs gonna be looking down the business end of a shrimp fork" something like that!!

[Pazuzu]

The modern world can bite my splintery, wooden ass!

[Ace]

Bite my glorius golden ass! Or: Hello peasants

[Gazereths]

"cheese it" "roooobooot hooouussee"

[Ace]

Leela: Someone should teach you a lesson
Zapp: If its a lesson at love watch out I suffer from a very bad sexy learning disorder. What do we call it Kiff?
Kiff: eeuuugggh. Sexlexia

[1B-DI]

Yeah, my sig is one of my favorites. There are so many great quotes from the show it's hard to keep track of them all!

But this bit from "Spanish Fry" had me rolling:

Fry: Wait! Listen, I'm usually the first to toot my lower horn.
Bender: I'll say. Woo!
Fry: But in this case, I just don't think it's going to do any good.
Bender: That's what she said. Woo!
Leela: Lets face it, you two have relationship problems that can't be solved by an aphrodisiac.
Fry: However huge it might be.
Lrrr: Mmm. This jerked chicken is good. I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked.
Bender: It's used to it! Woo!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fry: Yes! I never thought I'd escape with my doodle; but, I pulled it out.
Bender: Just like at the movie theater! Woo!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leela: Well Fry, it looks like you get to hold on to your lower horn.
Bender: As usual! Woo!

[Cloverfield]

Wooooo, :lol:

[Gazereths]

"I get to keep my lower horn as long as you two end up doing the horizontal monster mash" "woooooooo.hahaha....i dont get it" LOL

[Pariah]

Ha Ha. Still I like the classic "Bite my shiny metal ass". Or Bender's top 10 things he says the most.

[Gazereths]

"They say you can judge a man by the company he keeps...so here's the professors oldest friend...a grotesque stinking lobster"

[gort]

Morbo: " That is not how windmills work!"

Don't know why, but the way he says it cracks me up....plus about an eleventy billion more!

[Gazereths]

I know what you mean...its so hard to choose a favourite among thousands!!!

"thats what i wanted you to think wih your soft, human brain" - Calculon

[1B-DI]

Morbo: " That is not how windmills work!"

Don't know why, but the way he says it cracks me up....plus about an eleventy billion more!

Here's my favorite Morbo quote:

Richard Nixon's Head: Hello Morbo, how's the family?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.

[gort]

Good one....

[futurama rules]

I like my ass has blisters from the slide

and

I have brain in my butt crack

[frys_red_jacket]

Fry: "Bender what's wrong?!"
Bender: "It was horrible ones and zeros everywhere and i think I saw a two."
Fry: "Its ok Bender there's no such thing as two."

this was pretty funny

[cerberus]

bite my shiny metal ass, as my name suggests :)

[futurama rules]

I also like

FRY: Whoa! Letters like 'u' and 'r' can mean words like 'you' and 'are'!"

FRY: "Words. Nothing but sweet, sweet words that turn into bitter orange wax in my ears."

Santa: I'm not here to kill you, Bender! I need you to help me save Xmas.
Bender: Gee whiz, Santa! You want me to help you?
Fry: Don't do it! He's evil!
Santa: I know he is but I have no choice.

[addmyster]

Farnsworth: You killed me! ohh.... You killed me!

Leela: Oh my god what have i done!

Farnsworth: I just told you! You killed me!

[gort]

Nice post Addmyster LOL..........................just the one though, I guess....wait.....joined in September???? Just now posted???? UM........

[Cloverfield]

Wow, one of the first ones and he's only just posted.

[gort]

We can expect another great post in July.......can hardly wait!

[frys_red_jacket]

LOL!!

[Cloverfield]

We can expect another great post in July.......can hardly wait!
In your top 3 funniest posts :D

[gort]

What are the other two.......and how could you POSSIBLY select from SO many?? LOL

[Cloverfield]

I don't know :lol:. I just no its up there.

[gort]

Well
Thank you *bows*


I'm honored *choke*

[Cloverfield]

You literally choking? :lol:

[gort]

Nah.....I wish........

In the old E.C. comics of the 1950s, they would say *choke* when a character couldn't talk because of emotions, or seeing something gross, or actually choking!!
For example....when finding a dead, mutilated body......they would say....
"Good lord.....choke.....he's....DEAD!!"

Any of that make sense to you?
It does to me.

[Cloverfield]

I know, i was just screwing with you. *choke* an a-bomb arg. From the simpsons when bart buys the first radioactive comic.

[gort]

Oh...okay!! I used to be a comic book geek without the geek part. Hard to do, but I managed!

Quick question....if someone is in the elite section what does it show on your "who is online" section.....forum index ( for example ) or what? Ya follow me?

[Cloverfield]

gort Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:22 pm Elite Membership

[gort]

I see!!!
Okay....

[cerberus]

fave line: bite my glorious golden ass!

[Gazereths]

*Phone rings* "what???, you say if i testify I'll be killed????...Oh it's for you" --- Judge whitey.

[1B-DI]

High Priest of Osiris IV: Great wall of prophecy, reveal to us God's will, that we may blindly obey!
Other Priests: Free us from thought and responsibility.
High Priest of Osiris IV: We shall read things off you!
Other Priests: Then do them.
High Priest of Osiris IV: Your words guide us!
Other priests: We're dumb.

[gort]

Fry...."They're like sex, but I'M having them!!"


Popplers...

[1B-DI]

Morbo: Ha ha ha. Kittens give Morbo gas. In lighter news, the city of New New York is doomed. Blame rests with known human professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny, inferior brain.

[Pazuzu]

High Priest of Osiris IV: Great wall of prophecy, reveal to us God's will, that we may blindly obey!
Other Priests: Free us from thought and responsibility.
High Priest of Osiris IV: We shall read things off you!
Other Priests: Then do them.
High Priest of Osiris IV: Your words guide us!
Other priests: We're dumb.

I loved that!!!

[gort]

I thought maybe you would be offended by that, Paz!!

Glad you're not!! :wink:

[0]

This right here may be the greatest lines ive ever heard in this show.

Fry: Yeah, uh, I'd like a cup of coffee, please.
Coffee Machine: Would you like cream?
Fry: Yes, please.
Coffee Machine: Out of cream!
Fry: Oh, uh, OK.
Coffee Machine: Would you like sugar in your coffee?
Fry: Yes, uh, eight spoons.
Coffee Machine: Out of coffee!
Fry: Uh, Leela, I think there might be something wrong with the coffee machine.
(Fry Gets Sprayed)
Coffee Machine: How do you like me now?

[frys_red_jacket]

i remember that one, very funny :lol:

[Cloverfield]

:lol: nice one TFFA.

[Pazuzu]

I thought maybe you would be offended by that, Paz!!

Glad you're not!! :wink:
why'd you think I would be offended by that?!?

[Gazereths]

"I'm a real toughie"........."i will destroy you.....and stop calling me" LOL the gender bender is funny as hell!!!

[gort]

Well I think it's obvious that you are a church going gal.....so I was surprised that you thought that was funny!!!

[Pazuzu]

I don't really care about people making fun of the church in that way... I know they don't mean any harm, plus really funny... our church isn't anything like that though... but some are which is why it's funny :P

[gort]

Good attitude.


Clearly not a mormon or a catholic.

[Pazuzu]

Nope, officially I'm Anglican, but i don't really think of my self as Anglican... I think of myself as Christian! :D I go to a mixed Anglican and Baptist church... we have a really cool youth group there

[gort]

So, you're our little angel!!!!



Yay for us!

I'm Gnost extant illuminati

[Gazereths]

"Now show us the killing skills that made you a media darling" That line always cracks me up!!!

[1B-DI]

[Fry and Leela have locked some monks in a laundry room.]
Monk: Let us out! We cooked our shoes in the dryer and ate them. Now we're bored!

[Gazereths]

another shoe eating referance.... "i still feel like having a shoe"...when fry and leela are trapped in the tar pit..Just before they find sly stallone's skeleton....

[gort]

Name all the things Fry WON'T eat.




Didn't think so.

[1B-DI]

:lol:

Good one!!

[Gazereths]

A big heaping bowl of salt....Oh wait!

[gort]

Ham gum......but it's mostly bones...


That's what prompted my post.

YUP....ham gum.


Yeah.

[1B-DI]

*shudders*

That's disgusting. That episode disturbed me. Just because of the ham gum.

[Gazereths]

And the fact that they would join the army just to get a 5% discount...crazy!!! LOL

[1B-DI]

LOL, yeah. The things people will do to save a buck.

[gort]

Maybe that explains the Bush thing. Is he offering ham gum??


That's REALLY the ONLY explanation....


(see....now I'm pissed....)

( I mean angry....but pissed later )

(whatever, dudes)

[1B-DI]

Quick, someone change the subject!

[Gazereths]

" damn it Hermes just jump already....quit hogging that healthy liver"

[bending_unit_22]

I have tons of funny quotes. Here's one of them.

Dr. Zoidberg: Now open your mouth and let's take a look at that brain. *Fry opens mouth* No, no, no, no, no, not that mouth.
Fry: I only have one.
Dr. Zoidberg: Really?
Fry: Uh... is there a human doctor around?
Dr. Zoidberg: Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it and say "brglgrglgrrr"!
Fry: Uh... brglgrglgrglgrrr!
Dr. Zoidberg: What? My mother was a saint! GET OUT!

[1B-DI]

It strangely resembles your signature...

[bending_unit_22]

Well I did copy and paste the part that was in my signature and typed the rest. Maybe that's why. "Guh!"

Here's another quote.
Fry: I have a pizza here for Seymour Asses.
Tenant: There isn't anybody by that name here. Or anywhere. I hope in time you realize how stupid you are.
I think that's how it goes.

[gort]

That is how it goes.


I love it when members quote their signature....cracks me up!!!


Thank you.

[bending_unit_22]

Oh yeah well then "Bite my shiny metal ass you meatbag!" Anyway, it's quote time again.
Bender: I have a busted ass and I don't see anyone kissing it!
Zoidberg: Okay I'm coming.

[Gazereths]

Dr jerkberg!!!..cracks me up everytime!!

[1B-DI]

:lol:

Zoidberg: Hmm. We'll need to have a look inside you with this camera. [He holds up an endoscope. Fry opens his mouth.] Guess again.

[Gazereths]

"come now lets all give fry some privacy".....Then they watch on a close up camera......LOL

[frys_red_jacket]

"I'll find Fry's coffin, get his corpse, and keep it under my mattress to remind me that he's really dead. That'll prove I'm not insane!"
:lol:

[0]

They think we're making out.
Wait. Why arent we making out

[jle1993]

B: There must be robots worst than I
RD: We've checked around there really weren't
B: Then please let me explain
My crimes were merely boyish pranks
RD: You stole from boyscouts, nuns and banks
B: Don't blame me blame my upbringing
RD: Please stop sining while I'm singing

[0]

I love the robot devil song. That and Hermes Beauracrat Song are amazing

[Gazereths]

"My Hermes had that place running so efficiently, that all the labour is now done by a single australian man" Not the funniest line but a good one!!

[bending_unit_22]

Leela: Now if everyone's done being stupid.
Fry: I had more but you can go ahead.

I just love that one for some reason.

[Gazereths]

Yeah...you could imagine fry going on for ages!!


Zapp : "A miilion babies in a few weeks..??...We'll need an army of super virile men scoring around the clock...I'll do my part" LOL cracks me up everytime!!

[Gurman169]

Anything Zoidberg says

[frys_red_jacket]

this is hdtv it has a better resolution than the real world :lol:

[Gazereths]

"Im a cold blooded punk"

"i once put a laugh track on a sitcom that had no jokes in it"

[Gazereths]

Leela : "No offence fry but you've become a fat sack of crap"

Fry ; "Sack????" Like that was the most offensive word...:lol:

[Cloverfield]

LOL, yh that line was pretty funny.

[Pariah]

I like...

Fry: You gotta help me, Bender. How can I prove I’m human?
Bender: You could drop dead. That’d show ‘em.
Fry: I don’t wanna.

[frys_red_jacket]

LOL not sure if ive seen that one but it sure made me giggle reading it

[Pariah]

I also like this one

Leela: It’s amazing that your people can fall in love so fast.


Zoidberg: Love? That word is unknown here. I’m simply looking for a female
swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material.

Fry: You and me both, brother.