Zoidberg's best quotes

[bending_unit_22]

Zoidberg has his funny moments. You can list your here. Here are a few of mine.

Fry: Dr. Zoidberg's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage and does.
Zoidberg: Damn right!

Fry: Hey Zoidberg, get in here!
Zoidberg: Screw you!

Fry: Is there a human doctor around?
Zoidberg: Young lady! I'm an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it and say *makes weird noice*
Fry: *tries to immitate noice but fails*
Zoidberg: What? My mother was a saint! GET OUT!

[Pazuzu]

Zoidberg: "As the candy hearts poured into the fiery quasar, a wondrous thing happened, why not. They vaporised into a mystical love radiation that spread across the universe, destroying many, many planets, including two gangster planets and a cowboy world. But one planet was at exactly the right distance to see the romantic rays, but not be destroyed by them: Earth. So all over the world, couples stood together in joy. And me, Zoidberg! And no one could have been happier unless it would have also been Valentine's Day. What? It was? Hooray! "
(Love and Rocket)

[1B-DI]

Bender: Hey, I have a busted ass, but I don't see anyone kissing it.
Zoidberg: [despondent] Alright, I'm coming.

[frys_red_jacket]

"A letter from Bender, my good friend! "Dear Doctor Jerkberg…" "

[1B-DI]

Friends, help! A guinea pig tricked me!

[frys_red_jacket]

"Now I'm not saying Professor Farnsworth is old, but if you consider his age he's likely to die soon."

[bending_unit_22]

How could I forget this one?

Hermes: Come on, baby needs a new pair of shoes
Zoidberg: The hell with your spoiled baby. I need those shoes.

[Gazereths]

Im sure ive posted this before...But here goes..."the president is gagging on my gas bladder!!! what an honour!!!"

Fry: Hay zoidberg get in here...
Zoidberg: Screw you!! .......................From outside the room...Dont know why thats so funny...But it is!!

[1B-DI]

Farnsworth: Because I don't want you touching that thing.

Zoidberg: I know that. [Farnsworth leaves and Zoidberg picks up the bottle.] Surrender your mysteries to Zoidberg! [He wiggles his mouth flaps inside the bottle and breaks off part of the ship. He screams and cuts the bottle in half.] Oh, no! Professor will hit me. But if Zoidberg fixes it, then perhaps gifts! [He picks up some "Strong Force Krazy Glue" but squeezes the bottle too soon and the glue squirts all over him. He screams and steps back. He turns around and some lab equipment and a sign reading "Zoidberg: Don't Touch!" gets stuck to him.] Ow! What? Oh!

[futurama rules]

love that bit

[bending_unit_22]

I love this quote from Three Hundred Big Boys.

Elzar: That's what rich people eat. The garbage part of the food.
Zoidberg: I ate garbage yesterday and it didn't cost me 300 dollars!

[futurama rules]

that bit is wondillent too

[cerberus]

all zoidbergs quotes rock, rofl!

[futurama rules]

ao

[SweetCrooner]

Fry: Hey Zoidberg, get in here!
Zoidberg: Screw you!

What episode is that from? I don't remember this quote.

[Gazereths]

It is from "Less than hero" When Fry and Leela are trying out there super powers.

[frys_red_jacket]

i remember that quote, hilarious everytime

[Gazereths]

Yep.....it cracks me up!!! You dont even see zoidberg.. but its still hilarious!!!

[futurama rules]

its my fav

[neilysan]

Best Zoidberg line ever, just one word,

Gracias!

[minute_man_yancy_fry]

my favorite zoidberg quote is from 300 big boys as follows.

amy: dont be upset kiff
kiff: but my gift to you is in the belly of a whale.
zoidberg: hey! this is like that time i ate that other watch kiff gave you.
amy: hey it is kinda like that.
zoidberg: induced vomiting! that was the solution! eeeeeverywhere it went. oh (laughs) what a valintines day that was!

hHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Pazuzu]

"Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop" *scuttles off*

[frys_red_jacket]

:laugh:

[JoelManiac]

Zoidberg- Quick we can escape through that neval cavity into the sinus
Hermes- Thats funny ususally you no nothin about humans
Zoidberg- I learnt it off a commercial for nasel spray "soothing action action action"

Profeesser- Quick when need to get into the heart
Zoidberg- Where the food is digested.

[Howl's Moving Castle]

Zoidberg (to Hermes): I thought you were happy. Look, your tail is wagging.

[planetexpressdelivery]

Did you see me escaping? I was all like WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO!

[frys_red_jacket]

"And I'm his friend Jesus!"

[FFFAdmin]

Fry: Hey Zoidberg, Get in here!
Zoidberg: Screw You!

[FFFAdmin]

My fav. is on when aliens attack:

Gracies!

On the commentary they were laughing!

Oh heres another one:

Did you see me escape I was like Whoowoowoowhoowhoo!

[planetexpressdelivery]

My fav. is on when aliens attack:

Gracies!

On the commentary they were laughing!

Oh heres another one:

Did you see me escape I was like Whoowoowoowhoowhoo!

Totally copied mine!

[frys_red_jacket]

and not to mention double posted

[KingZoidberg]

Bender: "Zoidberg please tell me frilly is in this year,"

Zoidberg: "I saw a frilly cake in here you'd remember all your life, i know I will, ORDER THE CAKE DAMNIT!"